Bachelor vs. Bachelorette.

So, with just about two months left to go until we hopefully walk down the aisle, we have been bombarded with all the typical pre-wedding traditions: Engagement parties, showers, engagement gifts, wedding planning, rehearsal dinner planning, and of course the notorious Bachelor/Bachelorette parties. Now, out of all the events that we are faced with, what has been most amusing to me is the total divergent response that the latter of these events evokes between the bride and groom.

Let’s take us for example. Immediately after we got engaged, the first – I’m not exaggerating here – first thing the groom and his friends did was immediately plan the Bachelor party. It was quite astonishing. I have never seen a group of guys move faster and be more productive in my life. As if Jon was dying on his death bed, they sprang into action to plan, book, and ticket their trip to Las Vegas. Within days of the engagement, some of the guys already had their tickets. In fact, before we had even decided on a date for the wedding, the Bachelor party was already set in stone on the calendar with all party-goers salivating in anticipation.

Now, let’s look at my plans for my bachelorette party. The first thing I did after getting engaged was definitely not plan my so-called “last hoorah.” In fact, I don’t even think I thought about it. So, the first thing I did was … I went shopping for my dress! Duh! With a short engagement on our hands and a dress delivery taking about four months, clearly this had to be a priority. Then only after finding a church, a reception site, picking the colors, meeting with the caterer, finding a hotel for guests, etc. did my girlfriends and I even start the discussions of the Bachelorette Party.

Ok, back to Jon. For months, I have seen and heard the detailed plans of the party in Vegas transpire over several emails and many phone conversations. And last weekend, as I mentioned in the last entry, as a last ditch effort to “prepare” (??) his friends were all getting together on the weekend before they left for Vegas to watch “Hangover.” Jon and I, having plans already being the only Saturday night he was in town, decided to join them after much deliberation. (Truth be told, I did not particularly want to go sit through a movie about an outrageous Bachelor Party knowing that Jon and his entourage would probably be taking copious notes and tips.) But, alas, I saw the “I’m going to miss out” look in Jon’s eyes and agreed to go after I found out another wife was going.

Needless to say, the movie was funny and surprisingly not as crude as I thought it would be (until the very end which was so hideously bad, I do not recommend anyone see this!). But the whole premise of the movie is a bunch of guys going to Las Vegas for a Bachelor party to do unthinkable things before one of them gets married. Throughout the whole movie the theme of “It’s Ok that this happened because it is VEGAS! Woooooo!” and “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!” played on.

Having been at a bachelorette party a couple weeks ago in Vegas myself, I am not innocent in patronizing the city. There are, afterall, really fun things to do there when you’re not being out of control: Shopping, golfing, spas, games, amazing pools, fun dancing, etc. However, what always shocks me while I’m there is the universal idea that this desert town is essentially the “safe zone” for all immorality. For some reason, it is a given that Vegas inherently is a free for all and that somehow the Hoover Dam must put out some magical water that allows everything that happens there to have no repercussions to reality. It is the one destination that people completely lose all sense of right and wrong, consciousness, bountiful amounts of money, and any sense of cleanliness. I don’t really understand this, and I always thought the quote “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” was always just a joke. But, as I am learning, people actually take this adage very seriously as if it is some kind unwritten rule of the cosmos. In fact, Jon even tried using this cute lil quote on me the day before he left for Vegas. Needless to say, the cute lil quote no longer carries the same comedic value for me!

On the other end of the spectrum, my bachelorette party will consist of good girlfriends, good wine, good conversation, the beach, and of course probably some shopping. The planning thus far has consisted of a cute Evite and several girls just excited to be together. There have been no premeditated plans for how many bottles of alcohol we are going to purchase, who is going to lose the most money, what movies we need to see to prepare for the vineyards of Santa Barabara, etc. Obviously, the disparity between the celebrations is quite large.

So, through this whole process, I can’t help but laugh as I see, again, how different men and women are. On one hand you have a celebration as if the groom has one night left before he ceases to be, and on the other hand you have a true vacation thrown to relax the bride. It is really funny what our culture has fed us and what we actually allow ourselves to consume. What is the history of the Bachelor/Bachelorette parties and how did it get to be what we have today?

Anyhow, more fun wedding updates to come! In the meantime, I just realized through all this wedding planning, work, and school I have not blogged politically in a long while. But I woke up yesterday realizing that I was living in a communist country. When did that happen?

Running down the Aisle!

Alas, clearly I have not been blogging nearly as much I should for all that has transpired since the last post. But, I have to be honest, I forget my name sometimes so if I remember to blog about once every two months, I am going to go ahead and give myself a fat gold star for effort!

(***Photo to the side is of us enjoying a Summer wedding that is NOT ours!)

So, since last entry, I am proud to report that I have not gone to the dark side of wedding planning. With roughly two months and change to go, we’re just cruisin’. Church? Check. Reception venue? Check. Check. Band? Check. Colors?
Check. Food? Check. Cake? Check. Favors? Check. Gifts to everyone and their mother? Check. Breaking our parents’ bank? Check. (That last one is a joke … We have been insanely price conscious, to the point Jon thinks I’m absolutely off my rocker.) All this to say, we are just breezing through wedding plans one day at a time and quickly approaching the big day.

Recent events included meeting with our rock star wedding coordinator at the church, sampling our cakes made by a dear friend here in Denver, picking out invitations, finding a house for my family to stay at, and starting on our lovely and cheesy slideshow. Side note: Even though slideshows are extremely cheesy, there is still something about them that everyone deep down really wants. So, we’re just going to give the people what they want, a romantic, sappy, glorious, wedding-like slideshow. Nothing else in the wedding has these characteristics, so we figured this one thing would be OK.

In other news, Jon leaves this week for his soon-to-be legendary excursion to Las Vegas for his bachelor party. To prepare, we went with a bunch of his buddies and one of their wives and saw the movie “Hangover.” Ironically enough, the bride’s name was Tracy and the boys in the movie stay at Caesar’s Palace where Jon and his entourage will be staying. Too funny. Let’s just hope the movie doesn’t tell the real life tale of Jon Kirby and His Loyal Subjects ...

Anyhow, despite the fact that I look down and see this ridiculously beautiful specimen of rock on my finger everyday and I have this new fancy fiancé name, sometimes I still don’t think its real that all this is happening. But with our amazing friends and family that are constantly showering us with love, attention, assistance, and support during this time, I can’t help but be reminded on what a truly special time this all is. Not to mention, I probably have the most fabulous groom on the face of the planet in regard to helping with wedding stratagem. All I can say is that Jon has gone above and beyond in assisting, taking the reigns, and wanting to be there for everything. I feel awful for brides that have an aloof, non-caring groom because I honestly could not have done 99% of all that we have done without him. And truly, it has given us an idea on how we will work together on future endeavors and honestly, at this rate, I believe we will rule the country and be on the cover of People in no time.

With all the wedding plans going so smoothly, school still in full swing, and of course work still charging hard, it is the little normal every-day chores that have really taken a backseat to my priority list. My laundry and state of cleanliness of my car can attest to this fact. For example, I realized that I needed to put coolant in my car as it was empty. So as I went to retrieve the coolant from the backseat that I had purchased 2 weeks ago (thank God my engine didn't blow up in the meantime) and I pulled out the bottle to find a black, strappy pump shoe was attached to the cap somehow (???). So, after I wrenched the shoe off, I realized that some kind of ribbons were strewn through the handle of the bottle. So, I remove those and I had to laugh at myself. What is wrong with me? I have never been this messy in my life. Not to mention I had to dig under various wedding and work brochures to even find the bottle of coolant! Then, after searching desperately for the radiator to actually put the coolant in the car, I dropped my phone in the engine area of the car as I was trying to call my brother to get instructions on proper coolant pourage. Needless to say, it was an absolute disaster. But I'll tell you what, my car may be on the verge of blowing up, but by gosh our slideshow is almost done!

I’m hoping for Jon’s sake and my own that I will get it together before we get married. If not, I may need to go back to school for domestic training and overall “get your life in order” school.

Can’t wait for August 22!