Bachelor vs. Bachelorette.

So, with just about two months left to go until we hopefully walk down the aisle, we have been bombarded with all the typical pre-wedding traditions: Engagement parties, showers, engagement gifts, wedding planning, rehearsal dinner planning, and of course the notorious Bachelor/Bachelorette parties. Now, out of all the events that we are faced with, what has been most amusing to me is the total divergent response that the latter of these events evokes between the bride and groom.

Let’s take us for example. Immediately after we got engaged, the first – I’m not exaggerating here – first thing the groom and his friends did was immediately plan the Bachelor party. It was quite astonishing. I have never seen a group of guys move faster and be more productive in my life. As if Jon was dying on his death bed, they sprang into action to plan, book, and ticket their trip to Las Vegas. Within days of the engagement, some of the guys already had their tickets. In fact, before we had even decided on a date for the wedding, the Bachelor party was already set in stone on the calendar with all party-goers salivating in anticipation.

Now, let’s look at my plans for my bachelorette party. The first thing I did after getting engaged was definitely not plan my so-called “last hoorah.” In fact, I don’t even think I thought about it. So, the first thing I did was … I went shopping for my dress! Duh! With a short engagement on our hands and a dress delivery taking about four months, clearly this had to be a priority. Then only after finding a church, a reception site, picking the colors, meeting with the caterer, finding a hotel for guests, etc. did my girlfriends and I even start the discussions of the Bachelorette Party.

Ok, back to Jon. For months, I have seen and heard the detailed plans of the party in Vegas transpire over several emails and many phone conversations. And last weekend, as I mentioned in the last entry, as a last ditch effort to “prepare” (??) his friends were all getting together on the weekend before they left for Vegas to watch “Hangover.” Jon and I, having plans already being the only Saturday night he was in town, decided to join them after much deliberation. (Truth be told, I did not particularly want to go sit through a movie about an outrageous Bachelor Party knowing that Jon and his entourage would probably be taking copious notes and tips.) But, alas, I saw the “I’m going to miss out” look in Jon’s eyes and agreed to go after I found out another wife was going.

Needless to say, the movie was funny and surprisingly not as crude as I thought it would be (until the very end which was so hideously bad, I do not recommend anyone see this!). But the whole premise of the movie is a bunch of guys going to Las Vegas for a Bachelor party to do unthinkable things before one of them gets married. Throughout the whole movie the theme of “It’s Ok that this happened because it is VEGAS! Woooooo!” and “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!” played on.

Having been at a bachelorette party a couple weeks ago in Vegas myself, I am not innocent in patronizing the city. There are, afterall, really fun things to do there when you’re not being out of control: Shopping, golfing, spas, games, amazing pools, fun dancing, etc. However, what always shocks me while I’m there is the universal idea that this desert town is essentially the “safe zone” for all immorality. For some reason, it is a given that Vegas inherently is a free for all and that somehow the Hoover Dam must put out some magical water that allows everything that happens there to have no repercussions to reality. It is the one destination that people completely lose all sense of right and wrong, consciousness, bountiful amounts of money, and any sense of cleanliness. I don’t really understand this, and I always thought the quote “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” was always just a joke. But, as I am learning, people actually take this adage very seriously as if it is some kind unwritten rule of the cosmos. In fact, Jon even tried using this cute lil quote on me the day before he left for Vegas. Needless to say, the cute lil quote no longer carries the same comedic value for me!

On the other end of the spectrum, my bachelorette party will consist of good girlfriends, good wine, good conversation, the beach, and of course probably some shopping. The planning thus far has consisted of a cute Evite and several girls just excited to be together. There have been no premeditated plans for how many bottles of alcohol we are going to purchase, who is going to lose the most money, what movies we need to see to prepare for the vineyards of Santa Barabara, etc. Obviously, the disparity between the celebrations is quite large.

So, through this whole process, I can’t help but laugh as I see, again, how different men and women are. On one hand you have a celebration as if the groom has one night left before he ceases to be, and on the other hand you have a true vacation thrown to relax the bride. It is really funny what our culture has fed us and what we actually allow ourselves to consume. What is the history of the Bachelor/Bachelorette parties and how did it get to be what we have today?

Anyhow, more fun wedding updates to come! In the meantime, I just realized through all this wedding planning, work, and school I have not blogged politically in a long while. But I woke up yesterday realizing that I was living in a communist country. When did that happen?